Setting Boundaries

Boundaries in any form of relationship can be beneficial. Whether it is with your romantic partner, a family member, a colleague, or a friend, establishing healthy boundaries can lead to greater satisfaction with yourself, your relationships, and in life.

Signs that it may be a good time to create a boundary in a relationship are:

1. You feel drained/resentful/irritated after interacting with someone.

If interacting with someone continuously leaves you feeling emotionally drained in some way, it may be a good sign that creating a boundary in that relationship could be beneficial.

2. You often say “yes” when you want to say “no”

If you catch yourself constantly agreeing to things that you do not have the time, emotional or physical capacity, or bandwidth to say yes to, then it may be a good time to practice setting boundaries.

3. You feel like you have to discuss topics you’re uncomfortable with

If another person continuously discusses topics, or asks questions about things that you feel uncomfortable discussing, it may be useful to create a boundary about certain topics or information that is discuss in particular friendships.

4. You often receive unsolicited advice

Sometimes other people believe that they know better than you, and attempt to control or give advice about certain situations that you may be in. If you do not want unsolicited advice or comments regarding your decisions, it can be helpful to create boundaries.

5. You feel like you are walking on eggshells

If you feel like you need to adjust your behavior or who you are in order not to upset someone, or fit in, it may be a sign that you need to create a boundary.

Setting boundaries can be difficult and scary because we cannot control how the other person is going to react. Sometimes, we feel guilty about enforcing boundaries, especially if the person we are setting boundaries with attempts to guilt-trip us. Although it can feel uncomfortable setting boundaries, that does not meant that we are doing something “wrong” in doing so.

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